The CHEAT in the CHARMER!
by etakkate
Summary: SEQUEL TO TEMPERANCE BRENNAN'S PERFECT MURDER. A little silly, happy one-shot set right after Booth and Hannah break up.  A take off of B&B.  Please enjoy!


**G'day from Australia! **

**This is a bit of a continuation of Temperance Brennan's Perfect Murder. It'll make a little more sense if you read that first. Just some stupid fun that I was not going to post but I thought - what the heck! Please let me know what you think, go easy on me - I get nervous posting silly stuff :)**

**Set after Booth breaks and Hannah break up.**

**I don't own Bones!**

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><p>Temperance flopped lackadaisically down onto the bed and sighed a frustrated sigh. "Well what do we do now Booth?"<p>

"What do you mean – what do we do? I would have thought a bit of a roll in the hay would go down ok about now!" He launched himself onto the bed beside her and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"I am allergic to grass, Booth, why would you suggest such a thing!"

"Idiom, Bones!" He rolled his eyes and looked to the ceiling.

"Oh."

"Aren't you happy that Hannah n me broke up? I thought that's what you wanted? Now they finally wrote it into the script and you're acting all girly and... pouty."

"I am in possession of _girly bits_ Booth – in your vernacular so that would be completely logical that I am acting _girly_ but for some unexplainable reason my sexual attraction to you has been somewhat dimmed by the fact that you _actually_ went through with proposing to her."

He threw his hands up in frustration, "I _had_ to Bones!"

"Explain to me why you felt you had to go so far as to propose marriage to _her_ when you are meant to be in love with _me_." She replied with condescension, folding her arms across her chest irritably.

"Well, I couldn't admit that I was wrong about moving on!" he shrugged, "I guess it was the cheats way out but, at least they didn't have me pride-stripped by admitting that I was still in love with you while I was with Hannah."

Temperance scoffed, "Booth, that was not the cheats way! The cheats way would have been far more pleasurable – I did suggest it you know."

Booth feigned hurt, "I don't cheat on my women Bones... at least not on camera." He added under his breath. "Anyway, I knew that she would say no and that'd be my guilt free pass to Bonesdome!"

He rolled over her and gave her a Seeley-Booth-Special-Charm-Style-Grovel-Grin and a butt squeeze for good measure, "I gotta keep up my honourable image you know? Now people will _pity_ me instead of being mad at me because I was the dumpee and not the dumper."

"Riiiight, I'm not sure I follow your reasoning. Nonetheless, I find my libido has been somewhat crushed under the weight of your disregard for my feelings... metaphorically, and I do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse." She wriggled out from under him.

"Hey! I considered your feelings."

Her resolve was not budged by his puppy dog expression, "No you did not, Booth. You simply flaunted your blonde... _floozy_ in front of me, proclaimed your happiness and insinuated that you had well and truly moved on from me."

He rolled onto his back with a smug look, "Yeah, well, you had it coming, Bones. Besides – I was sending you signs to give you the tip-off that I wasn't myself. Your super brain should have processed that I wasn't over you."

Temperance looked at him quizzically.

"You know, the belt buckle, plain socks, blah blah blah. All signs of a struggling soul."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You mean to say that you can tell Gordon Gordon the precise choreography of my feet but you don't notice the absence of my trademark rebellion indicators? The Cocky belt buckle?"

"No, I did not notice."

"Too busy checkin' out my other manly bits huh?" Booth produced his charm smile again – this time it had a little more success and she smiled slightly.

"You're a cocky ass Booth!"

He rolled gently atop of her again and whispered smilingly into her lips, "That is anatomically impossible, Bones." His lips slid invitingly over her neck, "I can show you if you like?"

So he did... with _great_ pleasure.

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><p><strong>THE END<strong>

**Love it - hate it? Please let me know! **

**take care!**


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